


Cockpit

by vericus



Series: Sparks Alex/Megatron AU [2]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Holoform, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vericus/pseuds/vericus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was about that time that Megatron decided he should put a warning beacon in orbit around Earth that broadcast a warning signal of the human saying "curiosity killed the cat" in all known galactic languages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cockpit

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be smut. Was. I couldn't manage to write cockpit pr0n though. Heh. Cockpit.

Alex yawned and slouched a little lower on the bench, hoping the sheer uncomfortableness of the seat would finally do its job and help her wake up. The early morning sun and lack of wind were a nearly unstoppable when combined with a lack of any caffinated beverages or sugar in her system, though, and Alex felt her eyelids drooping again.

"Fuck," she growled as she jerked upright again, eyes turning immediately to glare at the sun. Which was perhaps why she missed the fact that she now had company.

"And here I thought you were only so forward when intoxicated." The voice was unfortunately familiar, but entirely unexpected, especially in the base just outside Allspark Valley, and Alex jerked around to face the source. It was with some confusion that her eyes landed on someone much smaller than she'd expected - a man in military uniform, leaning against the wall her bench was up against, and looking eerily familiar.

"Holy crap, you scared me," Alex said, eyes wide. "You sounded just like -" Alex stopped as her eyes caught on the name 'MEGATRON' emblazoned on the uniform, and then her gaze slid back up to the man wearing it. He smirked at her.

"Myself? Hmm, imagine that." Alex's half-formed thought that this was a really, really bad joke was discarded at the familiar snarky tone.

"How the _hell_ are you outside the Valley?!" Alex hissed, jumping up from the bench and stalking over to him.

"Technically, I'm not," Megatron drawled.

" _Technically_ doesn't matter - the only reason the government didn't insist that you be put into a permanent stasis was because Optimus _personally_ garaunteed that you had no way to communicate outside the Valley!"

"Well that's his problem, isn't it?" Megatron replied smugly.

"It'll be _your_ problem if anyone spots that," Alex said, jabbing her finger into the name on the uniform. She was momentarily startled as she realized that the hologram actually felt real - even Autobots tended not to put much attention into their holograms, leaving them feeling more like rubbery plastic, even if they looked perfect.

"Then you'll just have to ensure that they _don't_ ," Megatron purred, and Alex narrowed her eyes at him.

"Just what are you implying?" she growled.

"There's something freeing about knowing that everyone always expects the worst from you," Megatron said with a chuckle before pushing away from the wall. Alex eyed him warily, but wasn't quite quick enough to move out of the way as he looped his arm around her waist and yanked her close. "I merely mean that the less time you take to agree to come back to the Valley and help me... _test_ something...the less likely it is that I will be spotted."

"Test what?" Alex demanded, pushing herself away from him. Megatron let her go with a smirk, returning to leaning against the wall.

"Telling would ruin the surprise."

"Yeah, I think I've had enough surprises from you for today," Alex replied irritably, turning back to her bench. "Besides, Beth is expecting me."

"Tsk, what happened to that insatiable human curiosity?" Megatron asked mockingly.

"It takes second place to this thing called 'survival instinct'," Alex said as she resumed her seat on the bench. "Something you obviously don't have, since you're still here."

"That's because you haven't agreed to help me yet," Megatron replied patiently. "It has nothing to do with survival instincts."

"Right, so having your name displayed all blatan-" Alex stopped, realizing that the hologram's nametag had changed to 'FREEMAN'. She narrowed her eyes. "Not funny."

"I disagree."

"You have a warped sense of humour."

"So my brother is always telling me."

"Speaking of your brother - I think I'm going to call him _right now_ and let him know about your newfound ability to project outside the Valley," Alex said snippily. There was a long moment of silence.

"Well? Where's my angry comm from Prime?" Megatron drawled.

"Oh come on, he's in a meeting with the _President_!" Alex huffed, her bluff called. "Just take the threat for what it is and go away!"

"No."

_"Cliffjumper! Where the hell are you!"_ Alex called out in frustration over the Autobot's communication network, glaring at Megatron.

_"There's an accident on the highway. I'm helping to clear it,"_ Cliffjumper replied, sounding distracting.

_"How bad of an accident?"_ Alex asked, concerned.

_"Phone Beth and let her know that we won't be making it for lunch tomorrow,"_ Cliffjumper grunted in reply, then cut the connection. Alex cursed, pulling out her cellphone and angrily jabbing out her sister's number - Beth was on speed-dial, but it made Alex feel better to punch in the numbers herself.

_"Hey Alex, what's up?"_ Beth answered cheerily.

"Cliff and I won't be back for lunch tomorrow. He's hung up helping with an accident," Alex said curtly.

_"How bad?"_

"He told me to phone you instead of telling me," Alex replied with false patience. "So I have no flipping clue."

_"Geez, no need to be so touchy!"_ Beth said defensively.

"Sorry, bad day," Alex huffed.

_"Aww, I'm touched that not being able to visit has you all upset."_

"Unfortunately, that's the _least_ upsetting thing to happen to me today," Alex said tartly. "I'll tell you later. For now...I'm going to go deal with some shit."

_"Alright, don't break any pretty noses,"_ Beth replied, definitely more amused than upset by the situation.

"What about the ugly ones?" Alex asked, casting a considering gaze in Megatron's direction. His hologram definitely didn't count as _ugly_ , but his mech form - well, that depended on your point of view.

_"Yeah, those ones are fine to break,"_ Beth said with a laugh. _"Give me a call when you're on your way, alright?"_

"Will do. Bye."

_"Bye."_

Hanging up her phone carefully, Alex stared thoughtfully at it for a long moment. Optimus was in a meeting with the President. Prowl and Soundwave were having one of their 'battles' in New Zealand (which mostly involved them anticipating each other's moves while no actual shots were fired, and Jazz played hide and seek Soundwave's symbiotes - or took a nap with them, depending on how active they were feeling). Ironhide and Chromia were at a barbecue with the Lennoxes and their family. Elita was in Africa, acting as a mediator in some rather tense negotiations. Ratchet had taken the opportunity to catch up on some recharge. Which left...Red Alert as the Autobot officer on duty. And if Red was the first one to find out that Megatron could project his hologram outside the Valley, things would go badly. Which meant she should probably keep an eye on Megatron until someone who was less prone to panic returned.

"Right then," Alex said with a sigh, putting the phone back in her pocket. Standing up, she turned and frowned at Megatron. "Survival instinct overridden. What am I helping you test?"

"Come back to the Valley and I'll show you," Megatron said with a smirk, then vanished. Alex growled in irritation, then started the twenty-minute trek back to the Valley.

\---

"You really think I am going to willingly step into a cockpit that you _just_ formatted yourself to have and let you _fly off_ with me in there?" Alex said incredulously.

"I told you I wanted to test something, this is it," Megatron sneered. His hologram wasn't present, and he was in his alt form, but the tone of voice was unmistakable.

"This is - no. Absolutely not," Alex said flatly.

"You agreed."

"That was before you told me what I was helping to test."

"Afraid, fleshing?"

"Of you killing me accidentally-on-purpose? Yes." Alex glared at the alien jet in front of her.

"Do you _really_ think the Allspark would put such... _stringent_ and _thorough_ restrictions on me and not cover this?" Alex opened her mouth to say 'yes', but then closed it again. He had a point. The Allspark may have been oblivious before, but once it found out what was going on with the Cybertronian people, it was extremely thorough about deciding what it wanted to do, as evidenced by Alex and Beth's stay in a Decepticon holding cell, and then the subsequent trip through humanity with Sideswipe. The Allspark had looked at all sides of the situation before taking action. It was doubtful that it hadn't paid the same attention to Megatron's resurrection, considering it had to have known what his return would mean to the war.

And he was an _alien jet_. That could _fly himself_. And go really really fast. Alex's grin came on slowly, but stretched practically from ear to ear. She'd never been one for fast cars. Planes on the other hand? She'd wanted to fly one right up until her dad took her for a trip in his truck and she fell in love with that lifestyle.

She was scrambling up into the open cockpit before she even really registered what she was doing. Megatron was snickering at her, but Alex ignored him as she slipped into the provided seat. She looked around curiously for seat belts, an oxygen mask, or anything familiar. She arched an eyebrow when she found nothing.

"There's usually some sort of safety harness," Alex said. There was a long silence, during which the plane under her vibrated suspiciously, and Alex had the sneaking suspicion that Megatron was either laughing at her, or thought she tickled. Then bands shot out of the seat and strapped Alex in tightly, so that only her head and arms could move. She yelped in surprise, and Megatron snickered at her. She glared around the cockpit and contemplated punching him, but knew it would hurt her more than it would him. Apparently he had just been adding a harness for her.

"Anything else you _require_?" Megatron asked tauntingly as the canopy slid closed, encasing her inside his alt form.

"A window would be nice, and humans usually need an oxygen supply at high altitudes," Alex prompted. There was another shudder through the plane, and then the canopy abruptly turned transparent.

"The interior is a sealed environment. It will be maintained to human specifications." Megatron sounded almost sulky, and Alex frowned.

"Wait. What exactly _are_ we testing? That you can fly with a human inside?"

"Which the Allspark deems more important - keeping me inside the Valley, or keeping you alive," Megatron replied in a purr, and Alex's eyes went wide. Before she could object, Megatron took off. He laughed as she shouted and cursed at him, the G-forces pushing her back into the seat as he rocketted into the air and then around the Valley.

There was really very little room for him to fly, which was why no one had been surprised that he hadn't done so before. It also, unfortunately for Alex, meant that he had to pull increasingly dangerous and ridiculous stunts. The number of times he stalled himself, or went into a nose-dive...Alex went from cursing him to screaming in terror in short order. Megatron laughed through it all.

Then abruptly, as he neared the edge of the Valley again, things changed. The G-forces vanished, and instead of dropping into another heart-stopping dive, he took a leisurely turn that Alex was sure actually took him outside the bounds of the Valley by a few hundred meters. As he lazily looped around the Valley afterwards, there was complete silence in the cockpit.

"Fraggit," Megatron finally muttered, and this time there was a definite sulk in his voice. Alex blinked, then cracked a slow grin.

"Allspark stepped in and stopped you, huh?"

"It took over my systems and activated inertial dampeners," Megatron snarled, and Alex giggled.

"What you deserve for pulling shit like that," She said. Megatron grumbled something in Cybertronian, and then turned back towards the ground. "Wait!"

"Testing is over," Megatron said irritably.

"Yeah, but, we're already up here, and I'm probably _never_ going to get a chance like this again, considering that the Decepticons hog all the fliers. And there's inertial dampeners now," Alex replied quickly.

"And?" Megatron asked irritably.

"Do it again?"

There was a long silence.

"I just tried to kill you, meatsack."

"Yeah, and it was terrifying, up until the Allspark stopped you," Alex said dismissively, then brightened. "I always wanted to go flying, but I never had the time or money to learn. And knowing that not only can you fly yourself, but the Allspark won't let us do the whole crash-and-burn-in-firey-doom thing...do it again so I can enjoy it."

"You are insane," Megatron said flatly.

"You have absolutely no way to defend yourself and just tried to kill your worst enemy's best human buddy. Who's insane here?" Alex retorted. The silence that followed let Alex know that she'd scored a point, though Megatron would never admit it. She smirked, and then Megatron's trajectory altered, heading up this time. Alex grinned - and Megatron accelerated, shooting off into the stratosphere in a cork-screw that had Alex's stomach tying itself in knots even as she cackled.

\---

When they finally landed, Alex was breathless from laughter, adrenaline coursing through her system. She tumbled more than climbed out of Megatron's cockpit, landing on the ground with a shit-eatting grin that didn't change as Megatron transformed no more than a few feet away from her. He stretched and shook himself, making Alex giggle.

"That was _awesome_ ," she said when he finally turned to look her way. He sneered at her. "Oh come on, don't tell me you didn't find it just the _slightest_ bit awesome?"

"It was..invigorating, I'll admit," Megatron said irritably.

"Dude, you're so grouchy when you're not drinking. How do you keep it up?" Alex asked with a giggle.

"I am _not_ grouchy."

"Are too."

"I am -" Megatron stopped himself from replying, and glared at Alex instead. She waggled her eyebrows at him.

"Just a teeny tiny bit awesome?" The glare narrowed. "Itty bitty human-sized bit awesome?" Megatron snorted and turned to inspect something on his hip, ignoring Alex. Alex grinned, then became aware of the sound of heavy footsteps rapidly approaching. She tilted her head up to watch, upside down, as Red Alert came storming around the side of the building Megatron had landed behind, his face a mask of fury.

"Hey 'Lert!" Alex called cheerfully. "How's it hangin'?" Red Alert stopped abruptly, staring at her incredulous.

"Alex, what are you - you're supposed to be heading to Tranquility with Cliffjumper!" the security mech said, his tone accusatory.

"Yeah, he got hung up, so I went flying instead. And _dude_ , have you ever gone flying with someone who can fly themselves?!" Alex asked enthusiastically. Red Alert gave her an incredulous look.

"Several of Megatron's trajectories were a nanosbreath short of being _lethal_ to an organic!"

"I know, it was _awesome_!" Red Alert stared at her.

"If I may make a suggestion?" Megatron drawled, and Red Alert turned to look at the former Decepticon leader with an incredulous look. "Just file this under 'insane organic' and walk away."

"But - you - she -" Red stuttered.

"She is fine, if insane. Therefore I have done nothing that requires your attention, which means your presence here is unnecessary, and in fact damaging to your continued processor health if you persist in questioning the fleshling whose thought processes are hardly evolved enough to understand even when she's _not_ insane," Megatron told the security director with false patience. Red's mouth opened and closed a few times, a confused expression on his face. Then it cleared, and he nodded to himself before turning and walking away. Alex waited for thirty seconds after the Autobot security director had disappeared around the corner of the building before convulsing in silent laughter, gasping out the occasional 'awesome' as she tried to point shakily at Megatron. Said mech was looking particularly smug, and after it became apparent that Alex wasn't going to calm down anytime soon, he reached down and scooped her up.

Alex managed to sort herself out as Megatron started walking, peering around his clawed fingers to watch where they were going.

"Hey, what happens if you trip?"

**\- THE END -**


End file.
